I have been there, I have done that and then I more than likely did it again. I have experimented with many hair colors, styles and cuts. I have experimented with many piercings and I have many tattoos and I also have plans for many more. I have done drugs, I have partied all night, and I have lived like a rockstar. I have been a wife to a man who was an infantryman who jumped out of planes and I am still married to the same man who is now a police officer. I am a mother of g/b twins whose first few months were the roughest months of my life. I have done some pretty terrible things when I was younger and I have said some unforgivable words, but I have been forgiven and I have also forgiven myself (somethings I have to constantly forgive myself for). I have done so much that my life should have been on a TV show. I guarantee it would have been very exciting.
Today I was thinking about how low-key my life has been since having the babies and I truly couldn’t be anymore happier. I don’t have an itch to go out to drink or party anymore and to be honest I haven’t in a long time and it is absolutely wonderful. On the flip side of that I understand how parents who have children young, and who weren’t able to have a “fun phase” in life tend to do so after their kids get older. Im glad I got that out of my system when I did.
It’s so interesting that every time I planned on getting pregnant I would obsess about being a mom. Then every time I found out I was in fact pregnant (when I say, “every time”, this includes the pregnancies that resulted in miscarriages) I would immediately freakout about how many things I still wanted to do with my life. I can honestly tell you after having the twins that thought hasn’t crossed my mind at all. My selfish thoughts have gone out the window entirely and everything I think of from now on is how to better my family and how can I help other kids. There is so much I want to do now but it is the totally opposite of the plans I had before becoming a mother.
Its so funny though, before I would drink and I was able to go to work the next morning… a few days ago for my 33rd birthday I had a few sips of wine, the next morning I felt hungover. Its also so funny that how before, when I used to color my hair for fun, I now how to color my roots around the clock so people still think I’m 25, when I am already in my 30’s. As much as I want to still get more piercings I don’t want people to think I am trying to hard to look young so I just settle for getting ink…. Im not really settling, I truly love it.
My advice to people who worry about the same things that I did before having the babies is, enjoy yourself and your husband. Enjoy your sleep, enjoy your vacations, your hobbies, and your freedom. When you have your baby know that your priority will be that child for the rest of your life. Your sleep will be nonexistent in the beginning, your time will not be to do what you want, it will be to do what you need to do, and most importantly your heart will no longer be yours. Just know that it is the hardest job in the world if your doing it right. Just know that that person needs to depend on your for everything for a long time and it is the most special feeling in the world. Heck yes it’s hard but it is unbelievably rewarding and you have a chance to raise your child in YOUR own way. Just make sure your being responsible and realizing your child has so much potential that can change the world for the better… or the exact opposite. Choose wisely and more importantly love that little human with all of the love you are able to conjure each and every day. Thank you God!