Introducing…Eidan Knight Devereux

So Eidan was in the NICU for over two weeks and when we originally were planning on taking him home, he had an apnea spell (he stopped breathing for a little while so they had to stimulate him to get him to breath again, which happens sometimes in preemies) so that held him back a few more days.  They reassured me that because it happened only one time, it shouldn’t happen again, but as traumatized as I was I insisted on taking him home on a home apnea monitor for a month.  When they released him to us, I was so scared that I am sure the nurse who discharged him was concerned.  Shit, I was concerned.  He was so tiny and I had no idea what I was doing.

I was scared to change his diaper, bathe him, change his clothes, hold him, and leave him alone in the room, so I never left the room while I was home.  The only time I would leave him was to go see Eva in the hospital and then dad would watch him.  There was a very, very short list of people that were allowed to watch him when dad and I had to go to the hospital together during Eva’s surgeries.  No one was allowed to come over to prevent any of us from getting sick.  I was absolutely terrified of everything at this point of my journey.

On December 22nd Eidan had to have his own surgery on a very large inguinal hernia.  This hernia was the largest hernia many doctors said they had seen, (you can imagine our horror when they told us).  The only good thing about that surgery was he was one floor away from Eva’s in the same hospital.  That was the closest they had been since they were born, so for 3 days dad and mom finally caught a break… we only had to hop onto an elevator to visit each of them instead of me having to leave Eidan at home with dad to see Eva in the hospital, and then leave Eva at the hospital to go back home to Eidan.

Not to mention, Eidan had also developed hemangiomas  a few weeks after he was born. During one of his his doctors appointments they were concerned that he has a total of 11 which any more than 4 is cause to be concern for possible issues on a number of organs. At that point they also heard a heart murmur but praise God after having an echocardiogram it turned out to be something called an innocent murmur and the hemangiomas have gone away completely.  Despite all of the health concerns we had for Eidan it was nothing compared to everything his twin sister, Eva had to go through.

I was finally discharged… empty handed.

When Eidan and Eva were born I can honestly say that I had no idea how to feel.  I left the hospital 3 days after having them, empty handed.  Eidan was still at The Woman’s Hospital of Texas, where they were both born and Eva was sent to Memorial Hermann Hospital where they were better prepared for her medical needs.  I had to leave my babies in the hands of people I never met before.  Some nurses I still keep in touch with, and some I met only one time in my life… one day/night where they took care of my new little treasures.

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My swollen ankles/feet because of preeclampsia… No, I hadn’t shaved for a long while….. still haven’t.

I was going every day to both hospitals to check on them.  I still had preeclampsia (it lasted for a few months after having them)  so my feet and ankles were constantly swollen, and I was recovering from the c-section.  So I would be wheeled through both hospitals, assuming we could find a wheelchair that day and if we couldn’t I would walk like a decrepit old lady taking baby steps, leaning all of my body weight on my husband through both hospitals.  It was rough as hell.

I was too busy pumping every 3 hours (night and day), and running from hospital to hospital to do anything else, to notice anything else.  Showering, eating and sleeping were not in my agenda for a few months.  I was a zombie, like the walking dead zombie, but not really because at least they ate.  Sometimes I didn’t remember the drive home from the hospital which looking back concerns me.  If anyone would have told me to slow down its not like I would have listened anyway.  I had to see them everyday because they were my children and they were my responsibility.  It was my duty as a mother.  I was a mother now.  I am a mom.  I have twins.  Almost a year and a half its still so strange to me.

 

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My entourage.